Mrs. Hong and I have spent a combined few hours over the last several weeks discussing David's growth and development that has evolved through a combination of work at the library and at home.
Although these discussions always center around David, we have become a team in our approach to David. We are consistently and genuinely considerate of each other and at times our conversations center on each others lives and the special challenges she faces as a Mother and I face as a tutor. There is a real trust between us.
We begin with which homework is critical for David to complete and why. As time has passed, we have often discussed David's intrinsic motivation and why some approaches create a breakthrough and others create resistance and evasion. Identifying and working with David's strengths has been key to our progress with David. Along the way, we have reached an unspoken agreement to accept a certain amount of evasive behavior from David as long as it continues to diminish and is replaced by hard work.
We have learned together that as nonchalant as David may behave, he really values the approval of the two of us - especially if our reasons are the same. Our post lesson discussions in the early days centered on work that remained to be done at home. Following the early February breakthrough we have been able to cover in detail the good work that David had completed and things that I had called to his attention as great work. Mrs. Hong would reinforce that with how proud she was of him. We discussed his specific reaction to deserved praise from the two of us and the eagerness he started to show regarding our work together and the ride home with Mom after a good night.
Lately, Mrs. Hong has made special requests to help David prepare for the statewide testing and has asked me to join her in emphasizing the importance of these tests and the additional prep work we do over the last several sessions. This is made easier because Mrs. Hong now knows for sure that David can read multiple chapters in grade appropriate books and write effectively about what he has read. That was her very first objective and she seems satisfied that he an do that now. This has given her greater freedom to expand her requests for additional work for David to do based upon circumstances regarding statewide testing.
She feels comfortable telling me that, "Tonight there is no need to check on anything with me, so stay strict when he tries that "trick" - that "trick" has been his last semi-effective evasive maneuver. We just seem to know the right thing to say and do with each other to make each other comfortable and to work in tandem to keep David improving every week. Even as he begins to plateau a little now, he has made truly significant progress. Sustaining what has been done is a good thing, but we still try to take conscious steps to sustain it and add strength whenever possible.
Mrs. Hong has been my most genuine conversation partner as we have worked closely together to find a few of the keys to a complex young man. We have learned that at his core, he is a "pleaser" who responds extremely well to challenge that is followed by positive reinforcement. First the challenge and then specific reinforcement of what he did and why it is important. We just seem to have found this approach together as the weeks have passed.
For sure, the most productive conversations I have had with a "conversation partner" have been with Mrs. Hong. I will miss her as well.
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